Vanhempia ©

 
 Tuntuu, että on turhaa kulkea eteenpäin, olla olemassa,
kun saavutuksilleni ei hurraata missään huudeta,
hymyä huulilla näe tai kukaan ei vangitse minua syliinsä.
Ei katseeni katsettasi kohtaa.

 Kadut on kylmät joita pitkin kuljen ja katuvalotkin ovat sammuneet. Ei kuukaan valaise matkaani.Kiroan sydäntäni, joka läheisyyttä kaipaa.
Kiroan sydäntäni joka vielä elää tahtoo eikä päästä lähtemään.

 Mustalle seinälle tahtoisin valkoisella liidulla piirtää sinun kasvosi, hymysi ja säihkyvät silmät. Punaisella liidulla sydämen rintaasi. Piirtää sen täyteen tunteita minulle.
Miksi olenkaan niin huono piirtämään? Haavekuvia vain sormillani ilmaan piirrän ja mieleeni kaiverran.
******

 I wont see you anymore, I can't hear your voice anymore.
I wont feel your touch anymore. You're gone, You're dead.
Dead to me.
But I can't forget, even if i wanted to.
Scars remind me every moment. They remind me of every moment of our love, of my sorrow. Every tear I cry, I cry it for you.
You said that you don't like scars that are made by the person wearing them.
But you don't know that my scars are made becouse of you.
********

 I can't seem to understand what's changed.
What could have effected in you during these few days?
You expect me to know, read your mind, but I can't so you must tell me
and release me from this haze of oblivion.
Why is it so hard to talk now?
Words left unsaid hurts me the most. Cutting out my heart.
Still I'm afraid to hear but I know you have to take risks in love.
I might fall apart
It might break my heart
I might lose my mind
But this is already so confusing
and I might be losing you.

 I know you hold heavy burden in you
I'd want to ease your agony
"Everybody suffers in life" you say,
laying yourself bare.

 I want to know why you behave like this
denying everything, but we haven’t even kissed
You deny everything that meant so much to me,
making me want to kill myself.
*******

 I'm just trying to find a place where to stay; I have felt so hollow and meaningless in here.I tried to be worth something.I just want to be wanted, I want to be needed.
I want to mean something to you.

 I thought you would complete me, make me whole, fill this hole in my heart. 
I thought you would be the missing piece, filler of my life.
Enliven my soul, be my asylum. Make this emptiness disappear inside of me.

 This fear of me making you miserable, taking your will to live, is messing my feelings.Neither one of us isn't faultless but would you be less flawless and more
willing to live without me?
*********

Kaikki ihmiset jotka meiltä on riistetty, nyt seinille verellä piirretty. Merkkinä siitä ettei kannata kaivata, heidän perään itkeä. Ei mitään tehtävissä, kaikki liian myöhäistä.
Pyyhkikää kyyneleet, eivät ne ketään pelasta.

Sulkekaa silmänne säästääksenne sisimpänne. Sulkekaa korvanne kolkoilta seiniltä kaikuvilta armon huudoilta. Kätenne ovat sidotut, unohtakaa muu. Pian taivaalla taas verenpunainen kuu. Emme voi estää tätä tuhon aaltoa.

Emme ole Jumala, emme enkeleitä, emme edes ritareita. .
Ei meistä pelastajiksi ole, itsekin uhreja.
Pian seinillä verellä piirrettyinä. Itsemme voimme vain armahtaa, itselle anteeksi antaa ja synneistä puhdistaa, niin puhdas veri virtaa
**********

Tie me, tighter and tighter until I can’t breathe
Bite my skin until I bleed
Just hurt me, make me scream
It is what I need to erase what I have seen, that you deceived
Hit me one more time that I’ll know this is real
Broke some bones, take me to another zone
Punish me from your mistakes, make me swim in misery lake
Just don’t make me go in too deep, I don’t want to fall asleep
We have agreed, this is our secret to keep
Pain makes me forget all that I hold inside
Rusted heart, rotten guts, mind without lust, bones turned to dust
Nothingness.
***********

For how long I keep trying. Say it: It’s all for nothing!
When you’ll stop denying? From the truth you’re hiding, my gaze you’re avoiding.
How long you’ll boss me around with your words so hard to understand right.
I’m losing myself when I’m trying to realize the meaning of those, ‘cause everything isn’t black and white.
How many disappointments I can take until I fall apart?
Soon there’s nothing left from my broken heart.
My scars are the reflection of your meaningless words.
Or have I just misheard?

Can’t you see the plight in my eyes?  When you will see the consequences of your lies?
When you will understand I’m dying from the inside every time you can’t decide?
Why you your feelings so carelessly hide?
Many efforts, I have really tried. And what you have done: put all aside.
I’ve been through this many times before; it’s like record going on and on.
So what if you’d spare me from tales and this time say it right before all is gone.
Say: stop trying, stop crying, it’s worth nothing! Give up, give up on me and you, there’s nothing you can do.
************